Invite Your Emotions to the Table
In Susan David’s Ted Talk on Emotional Courage, she says that we have devolved the complex list of human emotions to either ‘good’ of ‘bad’. Certainly those feelings that are uncomfortable or that sometimes erupt unexpectedly don’t feel ‘good’ and our natural response is to react (strike out), repress or avoid them. Fight or flight. How can something that is painful or throws us off balance be good for us?
Pausing when we feel hurt or angry, choosing our response or setting a boundary is all healthy behavior. Some of us who have even done a lot of our own inner work have honed those skills. The piece that sometimes goes undone is the next step. Once we have learned not to let strong emotions control our behavior, the next step is then to validate the feeling that has surfaced. Embracing those emotions... even the uncomfortable ones, is the beginning of real power. These are the exact moments when we have the opportunity to give ourselves what we may not have received from others in the past.
Invite your emotions to the table. Emotions are a key part of who we are in addition to our mind, body and spirit. Only when each of these parts of ourselves are given a voice and a space to contribute to the whole self, can we fully develop into who we were created to be. Cutting off or stifling our emotional power limits our own growth and potential.
We interpret the world around us through out mind and make rational choices about how to respond. The mind on it’s own is risk averse and always looking for the ‘right’ or ‘safest’ way to move through life. Our creativity, innovation and inspiration all live at the emotional level. Guided by our inner spirit or core values, the power of our emotions can dream dreams and create amazing life choices.
Many of us have heard messages from well meaning families, teachers or friends that have led us to shut down our emotions. So when they surface, especially unexpectedly, we don’t know how to handle them. We feel out of control and so tend to try and cut them off all together.
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This is where the healing begins. I have found that creating space for my emotions… especially the uncomfortable ones, has been the most powerful aspect of my own growth. Developing a sense of curiosity about those feelings has led to many insights and a true sense of my own core values and what is important to me.
Using the rational discernment of the mind to help interpret those feelings and the inner wisdom of our spirit or core values can bring us into alignment from the inside out and help our choices and decisions to be informed by all parts of ourselves.
This is a practice that takes work and focus and a capability that develops over time. We have many competing voices inside and outside. Learning to be still and listen to who we are and what we need takes time and it can only really be successful if we invite our emotions to the table.
