Trusting Yourself

How many times have you pushed yourself too far when you were overtired and ended up sick? Have you ever believed somebody against your instincts and regretted it later? Are you familiar with the words “I should have known!”. It’s not uncommon for us to doubt ourselves when all the time that little voice, inner wisdom or gut reaction has been trying to guide us in the right direction all along.

Why is that? Why is it so hard to trust ourselves? There could be many reasons. The first one is that most of us have many voices inside us and it’s not always easy to know which one to trust. First there is the voice in our head. This is the one that gives us the rules to live by. It holds all the ‘shoulds’. A good mother should do this. A conscientious employee should behave this way. An intelligent, capable person should always…..

Then there is the voice of our heart, where the emotions live. Depending on what is in front of us, this voice could be exited or scared; enthusiastic, fearful or closed off. It’s not unusual for the head and the heart to be in conflict.

Imagine being confronted with trying something new like zip-lining. The emotions could be exhilarated, excited and ready to go while the mind sends messages like “This is too risky” or “You should be putting your energies towards more age-appropriate activities.” It might also be the reverse where the mind is saying “You should learn to take more risks and break out of the box that people have you in.” while the heart’s voice could be terrified, resistant and resentful at feeling pushed into something outside it’s comfort zone.

If the head and the heart are aligned, decisions are often easier. But when we have conflicting voices, what do we do? People say, “Trust Yourself”. So which “You” do you trust?

Down deep, beyond the noise, there is another voice in all of us. It’s called many different things: spirit, inner wisdom, instinct, conscience. It is the essential core of who we are. Our mind’s voice is often influenced by exterior norms and the expectations of others. The heart’s voice is impacted by past experiences both good and bad. The deep inner voice is You.

Learning to listen for and trust that voice takes time and practice. It’s like any other relationship. You trust it a little until you see that it’s trustworthy. Then you begin to trust it more. You start to see that no matter the opinion of others, you do know what is best for you.

Take a few moments each day to check in with yourself like you would with a close friend. Listen the messages you mind is giving you. Honor however your heart feels and celebrate that and then sit quietly and listen. In my experience, that still, small voice begins to emerge. Be gentle with yourself but consider trusting that voice above the others. As you start to trust yourself, your path will begin to come clear. Your ability to make decisions that are right for you you will increase in strength and consistency. My thoughts are with you as we explore this amazing adventure of getting to know ourselves; one day at a time.

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